How To Approach Girls On Campus
This article will assume that you have your GROOMING in order. If you don’t know what I mean, there are plenty of articles on grooming out there to help you out. But here’s grooming in a nutshell just for fun (make sure you have this stuff in order):
- Nice haircut - nice and fresh
- Facial hair - shaved, or well trimmed
- Ear hair - (the parts poking out of year ears like grandpa) - removed
- Nose hair - exactly the same answer as Ear Hair
- Fingernails - trimmed neatly and clean under the nails
- Clothes - something stylish that looks good on you -- and the beauty of college dress is it can be super simple.
If you’re at a total loss, just wear school-branded clothes. Rep your school man! Everybody wears that stuff. In the college years it's totally fashionable. And there’s plenty of it available at the university bookstore, and all the shops that surround campus.
7. Shoes - clean and new looking
Do you cold approach in college?
I’ve been asked this question a lot recently. The answer is definitely, 100%, YES.
However, the college approach has ONE DISTINCT DIFFERENCE from the traditional cold approach. In college, we never try to number-close on the first approach.
Let’s clarify this. What are the basic steps of a traditional cold approach?
- You approach (everything from you seeing her to walking over)
- You open (basically the first thing you say)
- You make small talk (everything else that’s said before you attempt to close - for this one, see examples below and also check out: How To Make Assumptions)
- You attempt to close (this is where your intentions of sexual/relationship/non-friend-zone interest become clear -- you ask for a number, her Instagram, a date, or whatever.) At this point there is a success/failure event (i.e. she agrees or doesn’t).
- You say farewell and depart.
The college approach is the same with one exception. Step 4 doesn’t apply. You never attempt to close the first time you meet her. Thus, you’re intentions are never actually stated.
You can't get rejected because you haven’t asked for anything. What's there to reject?
The purpose of the college approach is just to meet someone. Just to make a connection. That connection will build going forward. Now if you’re saying: “wait, I don’t want just a connection, I’m interested in this girl.” Patience my friend. We’ll see how this all comes together in a moment.
Note that the college approach is not restricted only to college. It applies anytime:
- You are pursuing a women in a place where you see her regularly.
- You are pursuing women in a place that is a self contained community (like school, work, gym, military base, etc).
Update To Dispel Confusion:
I want to be very clear on the above points because there's been some confusion. The college approach is for a place where you're going to see a woman over and over. It sucks to get rejected and then have to sit next to her in class day after day. It sucks to get rejected and then see her at they gym everyday. So if you're not going to see her over and over, then you can revert to the traditional cold approach and try to number close.
Let me be very specific with respect to college because this is where the confusion has been. If you're on an enormous campus and you see a girl that you believe you'll never see again, revert to the traditional cold approach. However, if you see a girl in your class or in your particular school (like: the school of engineering), then most likely you're going to see her over and over. In these cases use the college approach and add her to your network.
Building a big social network is the best way to get the most girls in college. This is because of preselection (which will be explained in a moment). So to dispel the confusion once and for all. Yes, you can (and should) number close in certain cases. However, the underlying point of the college approach is to build the largest social network possible, because strong social networks are how you meet the most women and have the most choices in college.
In the college approach your goal is to: MAKE A CONNECTION WITH AS MANY WOMEN AS POSSIBLE. Why is this important? Two reasons:
- Girls want "in-demand" guys. What is an in-demand guy? It’s a guy that other girls want. And how do they determine if other girls want you? Simple, they see you with other girls. That’s why the college approach is designed to simply get to know as many girls as possible.
- What is the most fundamental concern of any girl? It’s basically: Are you safe? She needs to determine that you’re not an ax murder before she’s willing to get too close. This hurdle can be instantly overcome if she sees you with other girls. That’s just how the human mind works. If other girls (even girls she doesn’t know) are hanging out with you, you’re safe.
For this reason, you should approach lots of girls on campus with the college approach. Even ones you would only be interested in as friends. Because you want to be seen with girls. Any girls. Plain and simple. This goes for social media too. Find every picture you can of yourself with girls, and get those pictures posted. If necessary, go to girls you already know, get selfies with them, and get those posted. This is preselection. You have been "preselected" as fun and safe by other girls.
Think about preselection in a non-pick-up context for a moment. When you need a dentist or a mechanic or whatever, which do you choose? Is it the one other people are recommending? The one with 150 five-star reviews on Yelp? Or is it the one nobody is ever heard of? Obviously you pick the first one. THE IN-DEMAND ONE. THE SAFE ONE. The one other people have chosen (sound familiar??). That's preselection. We all do it, all the time.
So let’s do a college approach example (remember grooming is in order at this point). By the way, it’s totally cool to memorize and practice some lines at the beginning. You need to start somewhere. People who say not to practice lines are talking about more advanced approaches. They're talking about "getting into flow," "free flowing," or "being in the zone." This is what you should ultimately strive for in your game. My Honey Love course is designed to get you to this point.
However at the beginning, if you're new to game, it's perfectly fine to do some drills before running off and playing the championship game.
IMPORTANT: Everything you see in the example below is done with a smile and the confident attitude of: I’m not hitting on anybody. I’m just out on campus, having fun, just chit-chatting.
THE COLLEGE APPROACH: You see a girl. She’s reading something. She’s got a book in her hand. She doesn’t see you. You walk up near her.
- You: “Excuse me.” (she looks up) (you have a big smile, you’re hand is extended for a shake)
- You: “I’m Joe. What’s your name?” (guys -- on a college campus, 99.9% of time, she will shake your hand and tell you her name).
- You: “Emily (repeat her name), cool. Nice to meet you. Hey that’s a psychology book isn’t it? (here is where she says “no”, tells you what kind of book it is, and then you say something that teases her and exploits the future career stereotype related to whatever she said).
- [No, it’s chemistry 101] -- You: “Chemistry huh. So you’re gonna be like one of those mad scientist types when you grow up? Test tubes and beakers and all that?”
- [No, it’s from my history class] -- You: “History? So you’re going to be a librarian huh? That’s what all history majors become right? Librarians.”
- [No, i’m in business school] -- You: “Business school! Snap. So you’re gonna be like the next CEO of IBM huh? Wow, next CEO of IBM sitting right in front of me.”
When you give her responses like this with teasing playfulness, she will most likely give you a smile in return. She knows you’re playing around.
Her actual response could be anything, but the underlying message will fall into one of two buckets: She will either agree, or disagree with the stereotype you just laid out.
Regardless, you’re response is pretty much the same, continuing to reference the stereotype.
- [Chemistry 101 Agree -- ‘Yeah totally. Like, you should see my dorm. I have the periodic table hanging on my wall]. You: “That’s what I figured. Yeah I can totally see your hair like all Einsteined-out. It’d be a good look for you.”
- [Chemistry 101 Disagree -- No (laugh). I mean I’m thinking about med school. But I don’t know]. You: Med School? I’m not sure if they let mad scientists into med school. The whole Einsteined-out hair thing. Not sure that works.”
- [History - Agree -- “Exactly. Like literally all I do is read. My mattress is actually stuffed with books, not springs]. You: “That’s what I figured. But where are your nerd glasses at? Like aren’t nerd glasses a requirement for librarians? (or if she’s wearing glasses): “That’s what I figured. But I’m not sure your glasses are really "nerd" enough. Don’t librarians need like super clunky nerd glasses to get the job?
- [History - Disagree -- “Definitely not a librarian. I actually hate reading (laugh).] You: “Hmmm. It’s that you don’t have the big nerd glasses isn’t it? That’s what’s REALLY holding you back from librarian status isn’t it?
Now, without really giving her time to react (just a one beat pause), move right into (playfully): “Just kidding (small laugh). I’m just messing with you. Hey, how come I’ve never seen you around here before? You a freshman?”
Again, the answer here will basically be yes or no.
- If yes: You: “Cool. Well hey welcome to campus (big smile). I gotta get to class. But it was cool to meet you. Maybe I’ll see you ‘round.” (Optional -- particularly good if she’s been smiling and friendly -- hold out your fist for a fist bump). Then walk off.
- If no: You: “Upperclassmen huh? That’s cool (big smile). Well, I gotta get to class. But it was dope meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you ‘round.” (Again, optional fist bump). Then leave.
- If she flips the script on this one and says “How come I've never seen YOU around here before?” You: “Girl, I’m around here all the time. Head must be buried in that book too much (wink). Hey I gotta get to class. (and the rest is the same).
So what happened in this interaction? You basically controlled the entire flow of the interaction. You teased her a little bit. Hopefully she laughed a little. You covered two topics (the stereotype and the "ain’t seen you before"), which is enough. You should be seeing that the college approach doesn’t need to be to long. Get in, run the convo, get out.
And you controlled the exit. Hopefully you touched her twice (once with the handshake, and once with the fist bump). And you never asked her for anything from a sex/relationship perspective, so there was never any opportunity or reason to reject you.
This is the first step to getting her into your network. The next time you see her, it won’t be a cold approach. Because now you know her name and a little bit about her. Also, she sees you as a non-needy, confident, mildly mysterious (which is good) dude, who just said hi, and then had other things to do, and left without making his intentions clear. Golden.
Do that enough and you’ll quickly start seeing girls again that you cold approached already. You'll know their names. Hopefully you'll know 1 or 2 pieces of information about them (like their majors or if they're freshman, etc.). This will make the next approach so much easier because you have already spoken to them. You're not a "stranger" anymore. Next time, just reopen the conversation and get to know more about them.
On the second and third times you talk to a particular girl, you can decide on a case-by-case basis how to proceed. If she seems really into you, you can try to advance things along. If you're not sure, just keep interacting with her a few more times. Get to know her. You'll be seeing her over and over so there is no rush. Every girl is different, sometimes she'll warm up to you after 1 interaction. Sometimes it may take 5 interactions. It will vary.
The key thing to remember is that every girl has a place in your network. Because girls know other girls. And once girls start seeing you with their friends (and with other girls in general) that's when the fun really starts. So even if a particular girl isn't interested in you sexually, then make her a friend in your network. Trust me, no matter how hot she is, she has single friends who are even hotter.
By the way, make sure to remember her name after the first interaction. That's the information you went in to get (which will be helpfull the next time you see her). So write it down if necessary.