Guys are you sick and tired of girls fucking around on text?
Not responding. Going radio silent. Setting up dates and then flaking. Dragging you into endless conversations that lead nowhere.
Asking the most fucking annoying question in the world: What are you doing right now?
If the answer is yes, then this article is for you.
The purpose of texting is ALWAYS: Build Attraction & Set Up The Date.
That’s it. That is the only reason to text. Brand that statement into your mind.
Here’s how the purpose breaks down before/after the 1st date:
The purpose of texting IS NOT any of the following:
Remember: When executing all the steps below, the underlying purpose is to: get in, build attraction, arrange the date, get out.
If a girl gave you her number, she gave other guys her number too. Accept it. That’s just the reality of things. Because of that, she'll be getting texts from multiple guys on a daily basis.
Fortunately for you, most guys send boring, needy, friend-zone type bullshit. And they send it too frequently. Texts like these she actually finds boring and burdensome. She doesn’t look forward to reading them.
You need to stand out from the crowd.
There are two components of a text she is excited to receive and read:
Girls love a challenge. It’s exciting, attractive, mysterious, non-needy, confusing, and totally different than other guys.
To create these positive-vibe, non-needy messages, you can use any of these techniques:
Remember: The purpose of texting is to build attraction and get the date. So you WILL NOT use all of these in every conversation.
Ideally 1 or 2 max to keep things short and get to the point.
1. Guessing Games
Girls will ask you all kinds of questions over text. Boring guys answer questions. Fun guys play with her. A simple way to play with her is to make her guess. You can just say “guess ;-)” or you can say something that basically means “guess ;-)”
Tack on a wink face to your “guess” responses to make sure the message comes across as playful and flirty.
Reminder: Use guessing games, and all the other techniques below, with balance. Mix things up. Throw these in where appropriate. You SHOULD NOT say “guess” to every question she asks. That says you’re just a pain in the ass.
2. “I can’t tell you ;-)” Games [with Ridiculous Follow Up Answer]
This is another tactic that doesn’t answer the question directly, and creates challenge and mystery.
Her: What do you do btw? You (let’s say you’re a waiter in a nice place): I can’t tell you…..but it involves bowties and coffee.
Her: What did you do last night? You (let’s say you didn’t do shit): I can’t tell you…..but it involved a road-map and my future online empire.
Her: What are you up to this weekend? You (let’s say you’re up to nothing but hoping to see this chick): I can’t tell you…..but I’ll check with my secretary to see if I have any openings.
3. Random Questions
If she likes you at all, then a random question will definitely make her curious. Girls HAVE TO KNOW why you think something about them. It’s just how they’re wired. A totally random question that implies you think something about her, works like this:
These questions should be something you are reasonably sure is NOT CORRECT. You don’t want to say “you’re a Cali girl aren't you.” And she answers: “yes.” That would be pointless.
As long as you ask something random that is not correct, her most likely response will be something like:
Here is where you drop a cliffhanger, and then go radio silent (more on using radio silence as an attraction building technique in the “Timing” section below).
The best cliffhanger is: “idk...there’s just something about you :-)”
That will drive her crazy (in a good, getting attracted to you, can't stop thinking about you, way).
(Assume she’s telling you about something that happened last night).
Then you go radio silent for 1 hour or so. When you come back start with something totally unrelated:
Then you stop texting again. Rest assured, she will be there on Thursday.
4. Random Pictures
Sending her a random picture of you DOING SOMETHING FUN, is a great way to spark curiosity. The key is to send her a picture, and then NOT say anything.
You want to be mysterious. You want her to respond and ask what you are doing, what’s going on in that picture, or something similar. You want her to be curious. You want her to chase.
If you give her some big explanation along with the picture, there’s nothing to be curious about. There's nothing to chase.
Now this should go without saying, but….don’t send her pictures of your joystick. In fact, stay away from any body shots (i.e. like shirtless) at the beginning. Send her pictures of you involved in a fun activity where you’re smiling, laughing (and ideally with other people, particularly girls) in the picture.
When she does ask about the picture, give her vague answers. Let her press for more. Let her chase. Don’t just come right out and drop a big story on her.
Instead, turn the conversation toward setting up a date, and you will gladly tell her all about the picture on the date.
5. Mind Scramblers
Mind Scramblers are similar to Random Questions, except they change the subject with a statement, rather than with a question.
Changing the subject randomly on a girl is a great strategy for two reasons: (1) it keeps her on her toes, and (2) installs the unconscious belief that “what you’re talking about” takes priority over “what she’s talking about.”
Then just keep the conversation going about what YOU brought up.
Important: keep whatever she was talking about tucked away for later. It’s something she’s interested in talking about, that you can bring up later (like when you might be stuck figuring out what to talk about).
And the beauty is that when YOU bring it up later, it was YOUR idea to talk about it.
6. Ego Strokers
An ego stroker is something that sounds like a compliment, but is still indirect enough that she isn’t 100% certain it’s a compliment.
The most likely response is: “what?” or “what was it?”
Your reply can go two ways (again, mix it up, don’t always do the same thing, be unpredictable).
Method 1: Turn it into an actual compliment (or something mushy). Do this sparingly, especially at the beginning, because she probably gets compliments all the time, and it’s boring, and doesn’t differentiate you from other guys. Mushy stuff is also better for (at a minimum) after the first date. Even longer than that is generally better. Mushy stuff at the beginning will just scare her away.
Example follow ups to her question "what?"
Method 2: Say something ridiculous (the preferred method, especially at the beginning):
Most likely she will be confused and ask why such a thing would remind you of her. Cliffhanger answer: “I’m not sure….let me think about that. I'll tell you later.”
Then go radio silent, and follow the steps in Random Questions, to get the date set up after the cliffhanger has been sitting out there for 1 hour.
The point here is that you are a mystery, you’re challenging and you’re not needy. You don’t say the same boring shit that other guys are saying. You’re not sucking up to her. And that is super attractive. Beta men don't tell a hot girl that a baby spilling corn flakes on its mom reminded him of her. They would be too scared to say something like that.
These are replies you give which are just the opposite of the "expected response."
When she calls you out on these responses. Just laugh it off and change the subject. Your teasing goal has been accomplished.
These are a great way to set yourself apart from the crowd. And they imply that you’re not needy because you’re not afraid to call her something silly. They can be generic (like “troublemaker”), but ideally they should be something more specific about her. Examples:
You should start using these right away based on whatever information you have about her. You can throw in a wink face the first time to show you’re fooling around.
From then on, just use the nickname.
1st Date Ask Example: Using some of the techniques above:
- After getting number: “Hey Christi. Cool to meet you earlier. I’ll hit you up later. Paul.
- The next day (assume when you met her it was at the mall and she had a Steelers jersey on)
What happened in that conversation?
There are only 4 timing rules you need to follow.
And remember that timing is actually MORE IMPORTANT than your actual message.
That’s because it’s a nonverbal communication about what kind of man you are. And the communication is all about neediness vs. non-neediness.
I see countless guys appear to be saying all the right things, but they end up not getting the date or losing the girl, because their timing sucks. Alternatively I see guys whose actual messages are dog shit. But their timing is impeccable, and they pull a lot of girls.
Seriously, great timing combined with just average messages, can make you more attractive than other guys.
So memorize these rules, and NEVER violate them (even if you want to really bad).
Rule #1 - Reply Timing Golden Rule: Your timing should mirror or be slower than hers.
Generally the same, up to double the amount of time.
Waiting longer is perfectly fine. Waiting longer communicates that you’ve got other things going on in your life (even if you don’t), which is extremely non-needy and attractive.
If you wait longer, at least try to get back to her within 8 hours.
Special Exception: She initiates the text conversation. In this case, she hasn’t provided any response timing for you to mirror. So for her FIRST TEXT, wait a minimum of 10 minutes before replying (and a bit longer is better).
DO NOT DEVIATE FROM THIS RULE: You may be excited when she replies back after 30 minutes, and you may be tempted to quickly reply back. DON’T DO IT. You will be communicating you’re a beta to be toyed with. Follow the Golden Rule without fail. In this case, you’re waiting 30 - 60 minutes.
Remember: Alpha males respond when they’re ready. And women crave the response. Beta males reply quickly and try to be attentive. And women yawn with boredom.
Rule #2 - Reply Timing to Partial Rejection: You wait 3 days before contacting her again.
Let’s clarify partial rejection. A partial rejection is something like: You ask her for a date on Wednesday or Thursday night. She says she can’t do those nights, and doesn’t offer up any alternatives. Here’s an example:
That’s partial rejection because she said she was down to hang out, but then became difficult about actually setting up a date.
Proper handling of a partial rejection can mean the difference between ultimately getting the date, and having her disappear.
Proper handling means: You respond with with lighthearted indifference (i.e. non-neediness). And then go silent for 3 days. Here’s a proper response (after 5 - 10 minutes, of course):
Here’s an improper beta response:
This beta response is very bad. It shows desperation. It shows neediness. It shows you have nothing to do all weekend. All not attractive things.
What if you give the proper alpha response, and THEN she offers up an alternative?
In that case, it’s perfectly fine to arrange things for Saturday. However, how long are you waiting until you agree to Saturday? You got it: 10 to 20 minutes.
What if you give the proper alpha response, and THEN she responds with something useless or vague?
Example 1: Useless Response
In this case, you stop texting. REALLY, NO MORE TEXTS. If getting with her has any chance at all of happening, texting anytime soon could ruin it. You have to look like you’re indifferent and have other things to do. Wait 3 days before contacting her again.
Example 2: Vague Response
It can be incredibly tempting to send a response like this (after 10 - 20 minutes):
It is highly recommended that you DO NOT respond like this. In fact, you should NOT respond at all. An alpha male would not respond to that.
Now you might be saying: “well, ok I’m an alpha male like 99% of the time bro. But right now, I really really want to respond to that message. I mean this girl is hot!! And she’s saying she might be available.”
Why don’t we respond?
First -- A vague response makes YOU chase. Saying “oh cool, what nights work for you” is chasing. It may not seem like chasing, but it is. She hung out a little carrot, and now you’re chasing after it. That’s backwards of what you want. You want her chasing YOU.
If you don’t respond (and she’s genuinely interested in another night) let her come back with more specifics. Now she’s chasing. You hung out the carrot of silence, and she’s chasing after it if she texts again with a specific day.
Second -- A vague response means she’s stringing you along. If she was available another night, why not just say what night?
There could be a variety of reasons why she’s stringing you along, but generally it all comes down to this: RIGHT NOW YOU ARE NOT THE No.1 GUY ON HER LIST.
You said she was hot right? Well, as we’ve said, hot girls have other guys texting them too. You’re not the only one. And right now, there are one or more guys higher on her list than you.
She could even be texting with another guy RIGHT NOW, in between texting you, trying to figure out a date with HIM. Meanwhile, she plans to string you along, and schedule you around HIM.
That’s not good. But fortunately, this can often be overcome.
The other dudes higher on her list may fall out of favor quickly. It happens all the time. So what you need to do is communicate alpha messages. Not beta messages.
Alpha men don’t respond to vagueness. She will be expecting a response (because most guys are beta and will respond -- they just can't resist). When she doesn’t get a response, it will make her curious about you and start to see you in an alpha light. If you respond, you’re just another typical beta to be strung along.
Better to just say nothing. If she comes back again later with more specifics, you can take it from there. But don’t respond to vagueness. That’s chasing. And chasing is not attractive.
In this case, it will be 3 days before she’s lucky enough to hear from you again :-).
Rule #3 - First Message after Meeting Rule: About 2 Hours
This rule is simple. After you get a girl’s number, text her about 2 hours later with a simple message.
Night Meetings: If you got her number late at night. The first text can be the next morning.
Social Media: If you got her number through social media, there’s no specific rule to follow since you’ve never really “met” yet. Just text soon to get things rolling.
The purpose of the 2 hour rule is to (1) remind her of you while the memory is still fresh in her mind and (2) get your number in her phone.
Tip: In this first text. Use both people’s full names.
Rule #4 - Attract Her With Random Radio Silence & “BRB”
These techniques are essentially the same. The only difference is that one is just ‘going silent’ and the other is texting “brb” right before ‘going silent.’
These are generally used in 3 ways:
The purpose of these is to leave her in suspense and/or make it seem like you’ve got important shit going on in your life (even if you don’t). Both of these things are definitely non-needy and create a bit of mystery around you.
After going silent, you can wait anywhere from 10 minutes to several hours, before replying again. Mix the timing up. Be unpredictable.
When you do come back, start talking about something totally unrelated to the previous conversation. Like the radio silence never happened. Let her ask you what happened (i.e. let her chase). Then tell her something interesting about your life, that just occurred.
Then just go radio silent for an hour or so. Alternatively, you can wait a few minutes, then text “brb” and go radio silent for an hour. She will spend the next hour deadly curious about what you were going to say (i.e. she will spend the next hour thinking about YOU).
She might even send another “what?” message or something similar (i.e. chasing the carrot you just hung out).
Either way, wait an hour, come back and start talking about something totally random. Let her ask about the “what” again.
Example (an hour later).
And that’s it. The point is that you dropped a cliffhanger and went silent. She thought about you for the next hour. She wondered about your mysterious suggestion and had to chase you to find out more. The communication was full of attractive, non-needy undertones. Beautiful.
Practice the techniques in this article and you will see your success rate from texting girls skyrocket!