How To Get Girls In Groups
If you want to pull a girl out of a group, you must win the group.
If you don’t win the group, the group will often start becoming protective of your girl. So to be successful, you must win the group. However, HOW you actually accomplish this is counter-intuitive. First let me explain the WRONG way to do it.
The Wrong Way
If you think that winning the group means socializing with everyone in the group before you talk to the girl you’re actually interested in, that’s completely wrong. This approach can sometimes work, but there are a number of problems with it.
First, it’s a pain in the ass. You don’t want to spend your time chatting up a bunch of other people (including dudes) so that at some point later in the night you can finally get around to talking to the girl you’re interested in.
Second, the whole time you’re doing this, you are essentially playing the unintended wingman for all the other dudes in the bar who are eyeing the same girls as you. You’re busy distracting the group, thus giving these other dudes a chance to make their moves.
Third, the girl you’re interested in might interpret your actions as just being a “social guy.” Even worse, she might get annoyed that you’re “ignoring her” and focusing on everybody else.
Fourth, you have lots of opportunity to say something which is too “friendly” and makes you seem like a friend who wants to be part of the group. This is highly likely because you are just being friendly. You’re not trying to sexually attract the group.
Fifth, in addition to it being a pain in the ass, it also takes a lot of time. And there’s no guarantee it’s going to lead to anything. You could be spending that time attracting other girls.
So after considering all of these problems, my view is that winning the crowd should not mean literally trying to cozy up to everyone else in the group, except the girl you like.
The Right Way
The right way is to be a sexually attractive, confident male who approaches the girl he’s interested in. Girls are attracted to guys who know what they want and go after it.
So Step 1 is to approach the girl you like and introduce yourself to her. Not introduce yourself to the group.
At this point several things can happen.
First: someone in the group (possibly the leader) will forcibly introduce themselves to you by being loud and interrupting. If this happens, here’s exactly what you do. You hold the non-reactive frame for 1 to 2 seconds. In other words, you don’t react instantly to their interruption, but you also don’t ignore them otherwise the group will turn against you. You can read about being non-reactive in the Sexual Frame here.
In those moments where you’re being non-reactive, you can give your girl strong sexual eye contact, a smirk (and even a wink if you’re just a little too cocky). Then you turn your head and acknowledge whoever is interrupting. Keep your body and feet and everything else pointed at your girl.
At this point, acknowledge this person. Be friendly. If they ask you if you’re hitting on their friend. Say “yes.” Say it with confidence. Say it calmly like you’re in charge and that’s the end of it. Then be nice to this person. Chat with them briefly. Joke with them. Still keep most of your body language pointed at the girl you want. After a minute of banter, turn back to your girl. Make it clear with your body and with your words that you’re a friendly guy to the group, but you’re here for the girl.
Second: the group could not really do anything. They may just allow you and her to talk without interruption for a while. If that happens, then focus on her. Ignore them until either (1) she introduces you or (2) you get an interruption.
If you get an interruption, proceed as above. If she introduces you, the you basically proceed as above as well. You’re friendly to the group. You can chat and banter. But everything about you indicates that your purpose is to talk to this girl, not to become part of the group.
So how does this win the group? Think about what the group’s purpose ultimately is. The group wants to (1) protect their friend, but also wants (2) their friend to get whatever she’s looking for. If you’re taking the approach outlined in this article and this girl finds you attractive, the group is going to realize that. To the girls in the group it will be obvious. To the jealous crushing guys in the group, it won’t be obvious, but she (your girl) will actually start to keep them in line. She will start investing in you by essentially “defending” you against the group. And by defending I mean that ever so lightly. I mean that she will make it clear when doing so becomes necessary.
Once you’ve been talking for a bit, suggest moving to a separate table or somewhere away from the group. Now you’ve taken her away and can proceed as normal.
Win the group by not acting like you “need” to win the group. You must 100% be nice to people in the group when introduced and/or they interrupt. You must joke and banter. You win the group (1) with your confidence and (2) by winning her first and making her be the one who lets the group know that you’re a guy to be accepted and liked.
To prepare for pulling girls out of groups, make sure you check out:
And when you're really ready to up your night game then you should check out my course: Make Women Chase You.
This book heavily emphases making fun, challenging, engaging conversation with women. All the techniques are laid out in detail. The book also contains completely written-out conversational examples which demonstrate the techniques. In these examples, she doesn't just "play along" either. She challenges you just like a woman would in real life and the techniques demonstrate how to respond.
This book also contains the supplement courses: Daytime Unleashed and Nighttime Unleashed. These supplements baby-step you through 25 approaches which are completely written out with what to do, what the goals are, etc. The approaches are designed to take you from "beginner" to "amazing" in 25 days. Each approach incorporates techniques learned in the main text so that you're both reading and taking action. Once you complete these 25 approaches you will truly be unstoppable with women.
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