How To Talk About Sex

A great method to bring up sex with a woman you’re attracting is to use other people in the venue.

This works well in a bar/club type situation where its loud and it’s normal to be looking around at other people.

The opposite of this would be a restaurant situation for example, where looking around at other people would be strange.

Here’s how you do it:

You: “So how good are you at reading body language?”

Her: “I’m ok. Average maybe.”

You: “Well let’s test it out. You see those two couples over there? (you point out two couples sitting somewhere else) Of the two guys, which one do you think is better in bed? And why?”

Now you’ve started a conversation that relates to sex, but because it doesn’t relate directly to her, the pressure of talking about sex is much lower.

Here’s another example:

You: “Do you think you can tell if a women is good in bed just by looking at her?”

Her: “Did you really just ask me that?”

You: “Yep.” (smirk, pause, look at her with confidence, don’t say anything else).

Her: “Yeah, probably.”

You: “Well what do you think about those two over there (you point to women sitting together across the room)? Which one do you think is more aggressive in bed?”

Her: “How about you tell me which one is more aggressive in bed.”

You: “Ok. You see how the one in the black has her hair down, the top two buttons of her blouse undone and has on about 10-too-many bangles. To me that says a woman who lets loose and gets wild. The one in the white has her blouse buttoned to the top. Her hair is scrunched up in a tight bun. She looks a little uptight and conservative. Almost prudish. Definitely not a screamer so to speak.”

Her: “I don’t think so. I bet the one in the white is the wild one. She might look prudish on the outside, but….(and now hopefully she will start opening up and revealing some information related to how she thinks about sexual things).

In this example, she challenged you right at the beginning with the “did you really just ask me that” line.

Women will do stuff like that.

Women want to talk about sex, but society has conditioned them to have sort of a knee-jerk reaction against it (especially at the beginning of getting to know someone).

When she challenges you, the worst thing you can do is to back away: to apologize or start saying stuff like “oh sorry, I’m not trying to be creepy, just curious, that’s all.”

Doing that just reinforces in her mind that there might be some stigma about discussing sex.

Instead, just own it. “Yep.” That’s all you have to say.

She also challenged you again by saying “how about you tell me who is more aggressive in bed.” Basically, she’s saying: “I want to talk about sex, but I want you to talk about sex first.”

Normally when a women challenges you (tests you) I have other recommended responses. However on the topic of sex, if a woman indicates that she wants you to talk about sex first, then just talk about it first.

Women love sex and love to talk about sex. But in our society, men have to initiate (usually).

That means making the first move to physically approach a women. And it can also mean making the first move when it comes to discussing certain topics.

Particularly sex.

Sex is a great topic to bring up in conversation. Before you bring it up, you should be seeing signs of attraction from her.

For example, she’s turned toward you. She’s touching you. She’s playing with her hair. She’s laughing at your jokes. All the usual stuff.

Sexual questions can be used as opening lines, but your success rate doing that is likely to be much lower. Better to start conversations the usual way (assumptions, cliffhangers, change the subject, tease (about stuff unrelated to sex), tell her something about yourself, etc).

Then, once the attraction is there, get the discussion of sex started.

Using other people is not the only way to bring up sex, but it’s a great way to ease into it, without immediately making her the subject of the sexual discussion.

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Part 2: Sexual Jokes

Before human beings do something, they usually have to think about it. Before a woman will have sex with you, she has to think about having sex with you.

One way to make that happen is to say something that makes her think about YOU and SEX, at the same time.

You know the difference between guys who get the girl and guys who get friend-zoned? Guys who get the girl, make her think about him and sex at the same time. Guys who get friend-zoned, don’t.

A sexual joke is one method for getting her to think about you and sex. A sexual joke works best when you can insert it naturally into the conversation. You can make it flow with what’s being discussed.

The opposite of this is trying to force a sexual joke.

When you try to force it, you can come off as crude, insensitive, over-eager, and probably a dozen other things that you don’t want.

Here’s the basic template to deliver a sexual joke. Then we’ll do some examples.

  1. Say the joke while not looking directly at her. Look past her or off to the side or somewhere else when you are dropping the line. If you look directly at her, it gives away that you’re trying to make a joke, which makes it less impactful and more likely to be interpreted as crude.

  2. Pause. Give a couple beats for the joke to sink in.

  3. Look at her. If you did this right, you should see a devious look on her face. A sly half-grin. Something like that. A look that says, yeah she heard that, but isn’t immediately sure how to respond.

  4. Next you will do one of two things: (a) if you dropped the line in a way that’s like a slip of the tongue (almost like you made a mistake with your words), then you correct the phrasing (in a way that’s kind of like: oops -- I just had a word slip, let me fix it). (b) if you dropped the line where a slight alteration of the words doesn’t fix it, then you act like you’re surprised that she would interpret it that way (like she’s the one with the dirty mind and you can’t believe she would think that).

  5. Then you change the subject and move on.

Example 1:

In this example, assume she’s eating or drinking something hot. Like she picks up a cup that’s hot. Or she’s holding a fork and testing the hotness of something with her lips/tip of the tongue. And she actually states (or somehow indicates) that the item is hot.

Her: “oh that’s hot.”

You: “did you try blowing it?” (pause… beat….maybe two beats….till she gives you a devious look) “I mean blowing on it?”

Her: (she continues devious look but probably doesn’t say anything)

You: (change the subject) “So anyway you were saying earlier about the two new girls in your pilates class.”

This is an example of “fixing” what you said by changing the words slightly.

Example 2:

You’re telling her a story about how your friends couldn’t get into club this past weekend:

Her: “That’s crazy. And he was on the list?”

You: “That’s what he said. All 4 of them were supposed to be on the list. But the bouncer just kept denying them.”

Her: “That sucks.”

You: “Yeah, it sucks when you can’t get it in. (pause… beat….maybe two beats….till she gives you a devious look) “I mean get in.”

And the rest is basically the same as above.

This is another example of “fixing” what you said.

Example 3:

In this one you’re telling a story about your dog.

Her: “Oh no! I feel so bad for her. Tumbling into the pool like that.”

You: “Yeah, but she looked adorable when I fished her out dripping wet. Check out this picture.”

Her: “Awwww. That is so cute!”

You: “Yeah. She was a little shaken up. But I stroked her head for a few minutes and she calmed down. I mean, we all calm down after getting our heads stroked right?” (pause… beat….maybe two beats….till she gives you a devious look -- then once you get the look):

You: “Whaaat? Everybody loves a good scalp massage. Com’mon.”

Her: (smirking) Whatever.

You: (now change the subject, move on) Anyway, I called the pool company the next day to talk fences and…...

In this example you can’t “fix it” by changing the words, so instead you look at her like she’s weird to have made any other interpretation than that you’re talking about a scalp massage.

Example 4:

You’re telling a story about your artist friend Sara who does murals on buildings.

You: “Yeah, usually she does the sides of buildings, but they wanted this mural on the ground. A 50 foot by 50 foot section in front of the convention center.”

Her: “Crazy. And she did it by herself?”

You: “Yeah. It took three days.”

Her: “And in the hot sun too. I’m not sure I could do it.”

You: “I’m sure it was tiring. I mean a girl on her knees for that long must get pretty tired.” (pause… beat….maybe two beats….till she gives you a devious look -- then once you get the look):

You: “Whaaat? He mural was on the ground. I mean she had to be on her knees right? In the hot sun right?

Her: (smirking) You’re ridiculous.

You: (now change the subject and/or move on) Psshht. Anyway the convention center loved it so much that they hired her for a second project over in……..

Here are other common items to make sexual jokes about:

  1. Anything involving sausage or meat.

  2. Anything where you can use the word bush. Like the trimming the bushes.

  3. Anything about getting things wet. Like anything that involves a pool, hose, shower, or spilling something.

  4. Anything where you can use the phrase “get off.” Like: “The roller coaster was ridiculous. We really wanted to get off.”

  5. Anything that involves measuring the length of something. Example: “she orders a drink and comments on how unexpectedly tall the glass is. You: “yeah it’s nice to get a few extra inches isn’t it?”

  6. Anything where you can use the words: balls (like sports), nuts (like bar nuts), package (like UPS or the post office), thrust (like maybe someone’s ability to use a pool cue).

Before you use sexual jokes, you should be seeing initial signs of attraction from a woman. No need to rush. Wait until you feel she’s attracted to you a little bit already.

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